I feel like I am really connecting with the people here now, both my classmates and the Northern Irish people we meet. I am also missing my family a great deal. It seems now that I have allowed my awareness of missing my usual supports, I am more open to other relationships. At the same time, I feel myself withdrawing into myself more. I took a day of rest today and created a space to let the profound sadness of trauma sit inside me. I was able to take some time to really feel it last night and to care for myself today. I discovered a place that sells hot chocolate made with 85% cocoa and so I am taking in the tryptophan to make more serotonin so I can better adapt to the increase in stress. I have been eating a lot since I’ve been here and might come back a bit heavier….but stress eating is usually a healthier sign for me than stress starving ( I do both). It is a profound experience and I think I am finding healthy boundaries in response to my coping limitations. I am letting go of the need to fix everything. The sadness is becoming manageable without the distancing and dissociation that helped initially.